Today wasn’t a complete failure just not as good as I wanted. I made a hot chocolate for breakfast and didn’t get to drink because of being too busy. I made breakfast for my homeroom (I am a teacher) and managed not to eat any of it - not even taste test. Lunch rolled around and I have a Dr. Pepper to wake up (12 oz) and an apple and some sunflower seeds. I think I ate too many seeds. And…. I want to be skinnier. I am caught at that awful place of “knowing” that I am not fat but still feeling fat. I can look in the mirror and I don’t look fat but I feel fat, like I feel huge and bloated and gross. I want to be light so that when my husband comes back and he sees me for the first time, he can pick me right up and it will feel amazing.